Time Capsules

If I were making a time capsule to be opened by my great grandchildren, I would include:

A book (who won last year’s Pulitzer?)

A movie poster (something recent from Hallmark classics)

Heirloom vegetable seeds (even if they won’t grow anymore)

Pictures of my children at their most adorable

Picture of my dogs, all freshly bathed and looking darling

Paint chips that I keep saying I’ll use to decorate my house someday

Transcript of Thomas Monson lecture

Recent issue of Time and/or National Geographic

If my best friend were making the capsule, and she wanted my great grandchildren to know what I’m really like (not what I pretend I’m like), she would include:

A formulaic fantasy novel (which is what I actually read)

Movie poster from “The Avengers” or some other comic book movie (my favorite movies)

Chocolate wrappers (I don’t even eat heirloom vegetables, let alone grow them)

Pictures of my kitchen sink filled with dirty dishes

Pictures of my dogs all lounging on the couch with muddy feet

Clorox wipes, because wiping grape soda off the kitchen chairs is as close as I get to decorating

Transcript of the K-Bull morning show (makes me laugh every morning)

Recent issue of InStyle and/or People StyleWatch

My high heeled hiking boots (yep, I really own such a thing)

Ticket stubs from “Menopause, the Musical” (all women of a certain age must see this show)

I need a more intelligent life, or friends who are better liars.

Not an Endorsement of Any Political Candidate

If Mitt Romney becomes President of the United States, will President Monson become an official spiritual advisor?  This question, at first glance, seems simple.  But the more I think about it, the more complicated it gets.  Here are some things I’ve been thinking about since this question was posed:

The LDS church has been very clear about its political neutrality.  It does not endorse any political party, nor does it reject any political party currently in the USA (I suspect it would decry a political party bent on annihilation of a race of people, but I don’t know that).  The church officially encourages its members to participate in local politics, taking advantage of all opportunities to be heard, including local caucuses, voting, and writing to legislators.  Both the Democrats and the Republicans, according to the LDS church leadership, have good and bad policies, good and bad politicians.  Members are encouraged to prayerfully choose candidates that will do the most good for the community and country.

            Does prayer help in deciding for whom to vote?  I believe that God loves His children as much today as He did in the time of the Old Testament.  He has not abandoned His children to muddle through as best they can.  Revelation can and does continue on Earth today.  Prayers are answered regularly and clearly, even with answers as specific as how to vote in local elections. 

            Revelation is given to those for whom it is relevant.  I will not, for example, be given revelation about how my friend should raise her children.  That is not my jurisdiction, and not my business.  Each person gets revelation that is relevant and important to his or her own life and responsibilities.  Sometimes the answer may be, “It doesn’t matter.  Either choice would be fine.”  Sometimes the Lord has specific direction for a particular situation.

            Based on these beliefs, I think the real spiritual advisor to Mitt Romney, should he become President of the United States, would be God Himself.  It is not President Monson’s responsibility to govern the country.  He has other responsibilities.  But the US President is certainly entitled to revelation pertaining to his job, as is anyone else.

            I believe this is true no matter who is in office.  Any sincere prayer, accompanied by real faith in the power of God to reveal His will, is answered.  The trick is having that real faith, truly believing the answer will come, and then recognizing the answer when it does come.  A person of faith, willing to ask for and accept the guidance of the Lord, may be the best choice for any political office or other position of leadership.  

Chocolate vs. Shoes

Chocolate or Shoes?

Chocolate Pros: best cure for fear (see Harry Potter); good cure for bad days, too; dark is good for your health; easy to grab a candy bar when time is at a premium; Cadbury crème eggs; can be covered in candy so it won’t melt in your hands; don’t have to share it with the dogs; excellent source of cocoa, one of the major food groups; Ghiradelli dark chocolate/raspberry squares.

Chocolate Cons: so hard to stop at the one square that’s actually beneficial to health; calories, calories, calories; the truly good stuff is hard to find; children can sniff out the stash no matter where you hide it; melts in warm environments; even though cocoa comes from a plant, chocolate does not count as a vegetable.

Shoe Pros: happy feet make happy hearts; really fabulous heels inspire confidence; shoe size stays the same no matter how much weight you lose or gain; come in all colors; many styles to choose from; never need ironing; great shoes completely transform a simple jeans/sweater outfit; excellent result of retail therapy.

Shoe Cons: high heels and ballet flats are equally bad for feet; hard to store in large numbers; need to be repaired or replaced alarmingly often; a good fit is hard to find.

Verdict: Obviously chocolate shoes are not the answer.  You can’t wear something that melts, and you can’t eat something that’s been on your feet.  Choosing one or the other is impossible.  One must have both in order to be truly happy.  Luckily, shoe stores are often in malls, where one can also find Mrs. Field’s chocolate chip cookies, Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory fudge, and See’s which gives free samples.  Happy shopping!

Curing "D"eafness and Curing "d"eafness

I have never been deaf—my hearing is reasonably good (although I can’t hear the phone through my right ear, that’s easy enough to compensate for).  I, like most hearing people, was unaware there was a culture associated with  American Sign Language until I started studying the language under non-hearing professors.  Some aspects of this culture are completely foreign to me, even annoying.  For example, why can’t anything EVER start or end on time?  Other things, while different, seem charming.  Friends are greeted with warm hugs, for example.  As I learn the language, I feel more and more comfortable mingling in this unique culture.  This gives me a perspective on this culture unshared by many, neither hearing people who aren’t aware of its existence, nor non-hearing who grew up immersed in it.

A friend asked me if there should be a cure for Deafness, and I had to think about it.  There are two questions here, and I’m not sure even my friend recognized the second, hidden question.

Should there be a cure for deafness?  Well, obviously there should.  It would be lovely if we could cure age-related deafness.  Grandparents should revel in the laughter of their beloved grandchildren.  People who have always found joy in music should not lose that in old age.  We should applaud efforts to cure deafness in late-deafened teens and adults, who grew up hearing and lost that sense due to accident or illness.  In a world where the technology is available, if infant and imperfect, to correct this type of hearing loss, it is silly to expect people to begin again, learning a visual language after serious illness or in extreme old age.  That’s the second question.

The first question, and the one I believe my friend meant to ask, is whether there should be a cure for Deafness.  The capital “D” indicates a cultural affiliation.  In some ways, it’s like asking if there should be a cure for Italian-ness or BibleBeltNess.  No one needs to be cured of their cultural identity.  Differences should be celebrated and embraced, cultures shared and communication facilitated by mutual good humor and patience.

There is technology available now that can offer a semblance of hearing, if it works, and if the patient is willing to do the work to learn to use it.  It is by no means perfect, nor does it work in all cases.  The viral video everyone saw of a woman hearing her children’s voices for the first time was staged—it doesn’t actually work that way.  This technology, called a cochlear implant, is the first prosthetic device that replaces one of the human senses. 

I will probably offend all of my Deaf friends and most of my hearing friends when I say this research should be continued, and this technology should be improved, and should be used.  Until it is closer to perfect, I do not believe children should be implanted unless the child has no residual hearing at all, in either ear, and perhaps also has poor vision. 

Should there be a cure for deafness?  My answer is a resounding, “Yes.”  Should there be a cure for Deafness?  My answer is a qualified, “Maybe.” 

Guest Blogger: Marcus

 Marcus wrote this in 2008.  It's still funny, and relevant, today.

Your cash is gone

Your grades have bombed

Can’t trim your nails nor mow your lawn

Your eyes are red

You look half dead

Never remember what you said

Seem hella old

Can’t breathe in cold

Holy crap, Kid, you smell like mold

Get beat by thugs

Food tastes like bugs

So next time just say no to drugs

Confessions

• I hate doing dishes.
• Somehow, kids moving out does not result in fewer dirty dishes.
• There are usually dirty dishes in my sink.
• Sometimes I dislike being a cat owner.
• Anyone want a big, white cat?
• No, really, do you want a cat?
• I don't miss having small children.
• I don't miss active parenting.
• I love my child free home.
• I still spoil my grandchildren, though.
• Grandchildren go home at the end of the day.
• I'm writing this while sitting in class.
• The lecture today is about sex (it's a marriage class).
• I'm bored.
• Does that mean I'm really old?
• Or that my professor is really dull?
• I love urban fantasy novels.
• They have no literary value whatsoever.
• I tell people I love Hemingway and Steinbeck so I sound smart.
• I'm addicted to caffeine.
• That's not a confession, just a statement.
• I'm heartily sick of reading books by Harlan Lane.
• Someone please write a different book about Deaf culture that my professors can assign.
• I successfully took up an entire class period confessing.

Sex Education: Where and When?

Sex education is so backward in this state.  We pass laws about what the schools can and can’t teach.  We spend countless hours discussing whose values should be taught in schools.  We say schools can choose, based on the community values where they live, whether human sexuality will be taught in schools.  None of this makes any sense.  Here’s a thought: why don’t we, as parents, teach human sexuality at home?  Then you can pass on correct information and your own values about sex and ethical, moral behavior.  A subject as fraught with emotion as sex cannot possibly be taught effectively in a classroom with twenty or more students.  A subject as prone to promoting embarrassment as curiosity should be taught in a more private setting, where questions and concerns can be addressed without having to admit in front of peers that they don’t know everything.  The home seems ideally suited to teaching sex, morality, contraception, ethics, etc.

In my home, we taught human sexuality in all its aspects.  My kids understood from a very young age that any question would be answered.  A couple times (mid-grocery store, for example) I put off answering until the setting was more appropriate, but then I made certain I brought up the question again.  We talked about contraceptives of all sorts, human behavior, emotions, morals, and the basic biology about where babies come from.  We talked about the values of my family and my religion.  We talked about other values or standards of behavior.  We talked and talked and talked. 

There were a few vitally important points:

1)      Don’t have sex with people you aren’t married to.  It’s not just pre-marital sex I wanted the kids to avoid, but any extra-marital sex, even after they were married.

2)      Sex is supposed to feel good.  That’s how the species survives.  That’s what binds husbands and wives together.  That’s also what makes it so tempting, and why you have to be so careful about maintaining your moral boundaries.

3)      You can die from extra-marital sex.  Protected sex makes it safer, but it is not safe.  Again, you can die from extra-marital sex.  Okay, okay, not from sex itself, but the risk of deadly diseases transmitted by sex is very real.

My kids grew up, made a few mistakes in life, tested all sorts of boundaries, and came out of adolescence pretty well.  Nobody got pregnant, nobody died, nobody caught any STDs.  Trouble of all sorts was brought to me for advice and help, because we had established a relationship where any topic, even the tough ones, even the embarrassing ones, could be discussed.

I would contend that schools cannot be nearly that effective, no matter what curriculum they use.  A two-week unit on human sexuality can never replace a lifetime of conversation between parent and child.  I am not suggesting schools stop teaching human sexuality at all, because not every parent will teach, and it must be taught somewhere.  I am suggesting that you get to your kids first, they hear it from you first, and they learn that the real information and education happens at home.