Enjoy This Stage While You Can

I will have two tiny granddaughters coming into the world this fall.  My step-daughter and daughter-in-law will guide these little girls into adulthood.  Hundreds of older women have said and will say the same things: “Enjoy this stage while you can.”  We say this because we’ve been there.  We missed some opportunities to enjoy them because we were dreading the things to come.  We got so caught up in dealing with the grind that we forgot to be happy in the moment.  We complained about our kids, struggled with them and against them, dragged through our days with our faces in a perma-scowl, yawning because we hadn’t slept in days.

 

And yet, there were moments when we got it right.  When we lived entirely in the moment.  We helped our toddler make a colossal mess because it was fun.  We colored.  We dug a hole in the flower bed.  We laid on the floor and watched cartoons.  We bought a treat at Target not because the kids were extra well-behaved, but because we could, and we wanted to.  We skipped school and the whole family stayed in pajamas all day and ate cookies for breakfast.  We read aloud a book we loved when we were children.  We folded laundry and let the preschooler help by sorting the socks.  We helped with homework and were there when the grade-schooler finally got fractions.  We chaperoned a middle school dance, and danced.  We stayed up way too late listening to a teenager explain what love feels like. 

In these moments, we remembered to enjoy the stage they were in.  We want that for you.  We want you to have more of those moment than we did.  We want you to be caught up in the pure, unadulterated joy of parenting.  We know it’s hard.  We know that babies, toddlers, preschoolers, kids, preteens, and teenagers can be colossal pains in the butt.  We know, even, that adult children can be the same thing.  We’ve been there, too.  We want you to create enough moments of joy that you still feel it when the baby throws up on the dog.  We want you to have a reserve of childish delight to share when the preteen is way too cool for childish things.  Hang on to the magic, the sublime, the eternity that clings to your relationship with your children. 

Yes, we do know you’ve heard this before.  We know you find these moments.  We know you love and enjoy your children.  We say it because we loved and enjoyed ours, too.  Looking at parenting from our end, we know how fast the years fly, and how much we missed during those long days.  We say these inane things because we know they are true.  You will always wish for one more second in each stage, in which you simply love your child, just as we do.  We just want you to have a few more of those precious, in-the-moment, blissful seconds than we did, because we know those are the seconds you will pull out in your empty nest and use them to decorate your heart.

I Am a Feminist, and I Am a Mormon

            I believe in my heart that women are the equal of men.  Women can and do run businesses and governments, homes and school boards, and they do it well.  Women think critically and logically about the world around them, and make intelligent decisions all the time.  But I am puzzled by the feminist arguments in the LDS church lately.

            Women do not hold the priesthood.  Don’t tell me that women can have babies and try to make that the same thing.  Men also have a vital role in procreation, and are equally responsible for bringing children into the world.  In fact, women cannot have babies without men.  Many women, through no fault of their own, cannot have children.  This is not because they are unworthy.  So, men, stop telling us this is the same thing.  It is not.

            And yet, there is something wrong with the argument the women are making, too.  If we believe the LDS church to be the church of God, headed by Jesus and led by Jesus, we have to trust the decisions Jesus makes.  If we believe the current president of the church, like all the presidents before him, is a prophet of God, we have to trust him to pass on the word of God.  We have to assume that, if and when Jesus wishes to make a change in His church, He will tell us.  If He does not tell us to change something, we cannot change it for Him, claiming it is His will. 

            If we believe all this, we have to believe that President Monson cannot change church policy without direction from the Lord.  The protestors are petitioning the wrong power.  The correct being to petition for this change would be the Lord.  In humble prayer, seek divine inspiration about the matter, see what God has to say about it.  Allow God to give you His own answer, and be willing to accept whatever answer He has to give.  Yes, accept it even if the answer is not what you want to hear.

            If, on the other hand, you believe enough social pressure will change the policy of the LDS church, then you cannot believe that Jesus is in charge.  If that is the case, why do you care?  The power isn’t backed by anything, isn’t real.  So why bother protesting?

            I will assume that God knows more than I do, that He has designed His church as He wants it, and that if changes are to be made, He will give directions to do so.  For now, while I see through imperfect, mortal eyes, I am content to trust Him.