Fashion Commandments

            Most rules of fashion and style are living, flexible laws, subject to change with the economy (economy and hemlines rise and fall in concert), the weather, and the whims of the wearer.  Brown and black is the latest color combination to become acceptable, shocking women from earlier eras who would never pair black shoes with a brown bag.  Menswear and lace look trendy and feminine.  Sultry red lips before sundown?  leather shoes after dark? or even (gasp) white slacks after Labor Day (but never, ever white shoes after Labor Day!)?  It’s all possible if worn with confidence and flair.

            Some rules are more like commandments, however. They will never be repealed and never be amended.

1.      One must sometimes sacrifice comfort in the interest of style.  Ratty sneakers will never be appropriate in the city.  Sweatpants will never take the place of linen slacks.  Butts look better in high heels. (“What’s that?” you say.  “My butt doesn’t wear high heels.”  True, but high heels pull your muscles taut, throw your hips forward, and give you that delicious sway.  Put one foot directly in front of the other, take smaller steps, and learn to ignore the wolf whistles.)  Style will never be found in slouchy, sloppy, but-it’s-so-comfortable clothes.

2.      Speaking of slouchy, shoulders must never slouch, either.  No one is rich, thin, or beautiful enough to look good with hunched shoulders and dipped chin.  The eyes are truly the windows to the soul; if no one sees the eyes, no one sees the soul.  With no soul, any plastic mannequin can wear the clothes to equal effect.  Do not allow this to happen, do not be a plastic mannequin.

3.      The most ironclad rule of all, never to be broken, bent, fudged, or cheated: IT’S CALLED UNDERWEAR FOR A REASON.  It goes under clothes.  No one should ever see underwear.  Jeans that gap in the back when seated should be worn with long shirts that tuck in.  Bra straps should be tacked to shoulders of sleeveless tops.  If you belong to a certain religious organization that enforces a strict dress code by specially made underwear (you know who you are), sing “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes” (you know the song, too) in the fitting room before you buy.  Show your religious convictions in your behavior, NOT by stray bits of lace peeking out of hemlines, necklines, or armholes.  Even so, underwear must be worn.  If the skirt is too tight to avoid panty lines, get a slip or ditch the skirt.

Commit to following these few commandments, and the rest of the rules can be safely ignored.  Happy shopping!