Fun Fact:

Fun fact: People are not logical. There are 10, or 14, or 100 defined logical fallacies that many of us memorize in college. People are still not logical. Plato said the ideal was to become logical. He said that several thousand years ago. People are still not logical. We can mathematically define set A and set B and see exactly where they intersect and where they do not intersect. People are still not logical. Very intelligent, highly analytical mathematics professors at colleges and universities teach logical sequences. People (even those math professors) are still not logical.

Corollary: Emotions are not logical, either.

In human interactions, the message sent is frequently different than the message received. This is, in part, due to the fact that neither the sender nor the receiver is logical. They are both people, you see, and people are not logical.

(Do I sound angry? I am angry. That is also not logical. Deal with it.)

I read fashion magazines.

(Stay with me. I'll connect these points eventually.)

I like fashion. I'm shallow. So shoot me. I still read fashion magazines. Not once, in any magazine, have I ever seen a headline even remotely like "You Are Fat, Therefor You Are Worthless." Every model is thinner than I am. The ads are filled with products to make us look or be thinner. The articles are about dressing, eating, or posing to look or be thinner. To be fair, one magazine does have a monthly column dedicated to fuller figured women. It offers advice on looking thinner.

None of this is specifically saying that fat women are worthless. The message received IS that fat women are worthless. This message is not confined to the pages of fashion magazines, either. Television, featuring beautiful thin women as the women who have it all, send this message. The dolls our pre-teen girls play with send this message. We send this message to each other.

Logic tells us that these magazines, television shows, and dolls are only saying that it's good to be thin. Logic tells us that these magazines, television shows, and dolls are saying nothing whatsoever about fat women (except that one). Guess what? People aren't logical. Our sisters, our daughters, our friends, our wives, our mothers are all getting the message that fat women are worthless. We internalize this message. We believe this message. We look in the mirror, see those two pounds that weren't there last week, and believe those two pounds make us worthless. We are critical and self conscious of our bodies, and we believe our bodies define our worth.

That is not logical. People aren't logical.

There is another message in the world that women must dress modestly because it will contribute to the moral purity of men. It is a logical fallacy to say that this message is also saying that if women do not dress modestly men will not be pure. Doesn't matter. People aren't logical. The message received is that women are responsible for the thoughts of men. It's a short jump to receiving the message that women are responsible for the behavior of men.

People aren't logical.

I can guarantee that fourteen-year-old girls are not logical. If they were, they would not roll their eyes and stomp out of the room in response to perfectly reasonable requests. Teenagers are people. People are not logical. These teenage people are getting the message that girls are responsible for the behavior of boys. Many of us, my friends and daughters and sisters, have internalized this message. Many of us have been told specifically that we are responsible for the thoughts and behavior of boys.

We women grew up with the idea that we and we alone were responsible for the behavior of the boys and men around us. We internalized this. We feel guilty when we are whistled at, leered at, assaulted. We feel that, somehow, these attacks are our fault. We feel responsible for the thoughts and behaviors of these perpetrators. This is not logical. That does not change how we feel.

Because none of us are logical, let me be clear on one point: I am not saying that I choose to dress immodestly, or that I wish I felt comfortable dressing immodestly. For me, modest dress is a physical manifestation of a spiritual commitment. I choose to dress accordingly.

If I were logical, these messages wouldn't make me angry. I wouldn't even receive these messages. I am a person. People aren't logical. These are the messages I receive, intended or not, stated or not. These are the messages I internalized as a young teenager. These are the things I believe in the most secret recesses of my heart. These are the messages that have always influenced my thinking and behavior.

It's not logical. Deal with it.