Love at First Sight?

I never believed in love at first sight. How, I thought, could a person honestly love someone without knowing anything about them? Then my babies were born. With all five of them, I looked into their eyes, and fell in love. These tiny people looked at me, as Whitman said, “not in entire forgetfulness, and not in utter nakedness, but trailing clouds of glory,” with heaven lying close around them. I thought I knew what “love at first sight” meant.

As a parent, I spent hours staring at my babies, wondering who they would become. Will he be sensitive? Will she love to dance? A million questions ran through my mind. I planned to be a gentle, playful parent. I listed the skills and attitudes I wanted to teach these innocent souls. I felt the overwhelming, sometimes crushing weight of the responsibility for my children. Among all of this, I loved them, completely and passionately.

Now I have grandchildren. I held each of these babies, looking into their eyes, sensing the heaven still lying about them, and fell in love again. It’s different with grandchildren. I love them no less than I love my own children, but I don’t waste time wondering and worrying about who they will become. When I play cars, that is all I’m doing. No teaching moments, no quizzes on colors or counting, we’re just playing. When I hold these babies, I am not thinking about everything they need to learn. I am cuddling with a baby, and that is all.

I love my grandchildren now, in this moment, for all that they are. Everything in the past stays in the past. They future can take care of itself. This child is here now, a whole person, ready to be loved and to love. And that is what real love at first sight looks like.