Advice for Young Friends

For Time, For Eternity

            Lots of little things can add up to a great marriage, or a failed marriage.  Start with the people you date.  Date people you could talk to over the breakfast table even if you were both old and fat and wrinkled.  Date people who share your values.  Date people who have goals similar to yours.  Date people who are smart and funny and happy and motivated and enthusiastic.  Date people who meet many of the criteria on your list of the “perfect spouse.”  If you date someone you like emotionally and intellectually, you will find that person physically attractive.

            The funny thing about love is that it is so similar to fire.  Winds of challenge blow out candles, but fan big fires into raging forest fires.  And like fire, love can be helpful or destructive.  The key is all in how you use it.  Love should never be coercive or manipulative.  You should never feel taken advantage of or mistreated. 

The family unit, beginning with a couple, is the basic building block of our society and of the Celestial Kingdom.  No couple is perfectly aligned in goals and desires.  There will always be conflict and disagreement as long as we are imperfect, mortal people.  Accept that there will always be some work to be done and compromises to be made, and you will not be surprised when these things arise in your own marriage.  Usually that happens about 10 minutes after the marriage license is signed.

People say it’s nice to have a shoulder to cry on.  And they are right.  It is nice.  But it’s better to have someone to laugh with.  If you can laugh together, you can work out just about anything.  Someone to share little triumphs and tiny failures is infinitely valuable.  No one but a spouse will ever care that you found your favorite pen on sale, or that you lost a lucky penny.  Find someone with whom you can share the big things and the little things. Find someone who makes you happy.  Find someone you want to be with for all eternity, forever and ever, amen.

Lessons from Ms. Rowling

Life Lessons from Hogwarts

·         You don’t always have all the details about another person, so it can be hard to judge the good guys from the bad guys.

·         Really obnoxious kids can grow up to be decent adults.

·         Anyone can move beyond bad circumstances to become something great.

·         The most powerful wizard in the world can make mistakes.

·         Kids have great power and can do amazing things if they work together.

·         Chocolate is an excellent remedy for fear.

·         Kissing can have dire consequences.

·         Not everyone in prison is guilty.

·         Some people truly are evil.

·         Some people truly are good.

·         Prophecy has direct bearing on our lives.

·         True friends always watch your back.

·         Rereading a favorite book is like reconnecting with an old friend.

Powerful Earth

            The theory of plate tectonics says that earth’s crust is made up of several plates that move in relation to each other.  Magma, or liquid rock under the crust, moves according to the rules of thermodynamics.  Hotter matter is less dense and lighter than cooler matter; cooler sinks as hotter rises; magma moves in vertical circular patterns.  The plates of the crust float on this moving magma, pushed and moved by the currents of convection.

            Along the boundaries between these plates immense pressure and force is at play.  More dense oceanic plates dive under lighter continental plates where they move together, displacing magma and forcing it up through the spaces between plates, which we see as volcanoes.  Where plates are moving apart, magma flows up and fills the space between divergent plates.  All of these tons of rock moving with such incredible force creates pressure, which can bend or break the rock, shaking the earth under mighty strain.  Vibrations move through the rock, which we feel as earthquakes.

            The very land we live on moves in ever-changing patterns.  The continents that rise above sea level seem to fit together like puzzle pieces, suggesting a newborn earth with one giant continent.  As some plates diverge, or move away from one another, plates on the opposite side of the globe must move toward one another.  They must buckle or fold or move over and across each other to accommodate the movement. 

            In some places, pockets of magma flow up through the crust in a place stationary relative to the center of the earth.  As the plates move over the magma, hotspot island chains can form.  This is how we get places like Hawaii.

            Earth has powerful muscles.  She moves with vast resources of thermodynamic power.  As residents, we disregard her at our own peril.  She is just as capable of destroying life as she is of sustaining life.  This destruction is not malicious or personal.  It is a law of nature.  Natural disasters are only destructive if humans happen to live where the forces of earth are shown.  As we learn to understand and respect her, we may learn to tap into her energy for constructive human use.  Patterns of earth’s behavior show us what to expect.  The task remains for us to learn to read the signs and work with instead of against her.

Stop Hate Language. Stop Hate.

The ancient Hebrew text, the Tanakh, teaches “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”  All action is preceded by a thought—we do what we think about.  I believe the words we choose and the symbols we expose ourselves to directly affect the way we think and thus, the way we behave. 

In 1989, a woman was raped in Broward County, Florida.  Her attacker’s defense was, “She asked for it.  She was wearing a short skirt.  I’m a guy.  I can’t help it.”  He was acquitted.  If I allowed my sons to say things like, “I can’t help it.  I’m a guy,” am I setting them up to be rapists and attackers?  The words they choose will affect the way they think, and the way they act.

In 2010, Sarah Palin displayed a map of the United States on her website.  She showed crosshairs on congressional districts of politicians she disagreed with or felt embattled with.  One of these districts was in Arizona, where Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was shot.  Crosshairs is a powerful image.  When we see something in crosshairs, it’s because we want to kill it.  Hunters, bad guys in James Bond movies, and soldiers center their crosshairs with the intent to kill.  Can Ms. Palin be held partially accountable for this shooting because she put this powerful image in the public eye?  I believe she can and should. 

In March of 2011, the Mayor of West Valley City declared war on the city of Taylorsville.  Mayor (Mike) Winder wants the Texas Roadhouse Steakhouse to move to West Valley.  In jest, Mayor Winder suggested that, while Taylorsville has baseball bats, West Valley has guns.  This is extreme language.  Warmongering, even as an April Fools’ joke, is a serious matter.  A teacher at Hunter Junior High talked to his classes about this joke.  Several students in each class had balled fists, ready to literally take on a neighboring city.  The language and the images of war caused violent reactions in these kids.

On March 3, 1991 Rodney King was brutally beaten by police officers who should be protecting Americans.  A bystander caught the beating on video, and the footage was all over the news for several weeks.  At first, we were all horrified by the violence and inhumanity.  We sat glued to our TVs in shocked disbelief.  After a couple weeks, after seeing it over and over, we stopped being so shocked.  We saw the footage, again, and failed to be horrified. 

We can become desensitized to any words or symbols we put in our thoughts.  Eventually, hateful language leads to hating thoughts, and hate crimes.  I suggest that we all, as humans who desire to be more and better than our basest instincts, must stop using words that promote hatred.  We must choose our language with care, and stop our tendencies to racism, sexism, and all the other isms that affect our behavior.  Stop hate language.  Stop hate.

Matthew 5:9

Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of God.

            What, exactly, is a peacemaker?  There are almost as many interpretations as there are Christians.  Some people think it means you avoid conflict at all costs.  Others think it’s okay to go to war to promote or preserve peace, paradoxically.  Is it possible to be a leader and a peacemaker?  Can you advocate for the oppressed and be a peacemaker?  Do peacemakers ever initiate conflict?

            Peacemakers can do all of these things, if it’s the right thing to do.  Dr. M. L. King was a master of peacemaking.  He advocated for sweeping societal change and massive readjustment of laws without throwing a punch or firing a gun.  Impressive, by any measure.  The hard part is following that example in everyday life.  Choosing words that won’t be construed as “fighting words” is extremely difficult if you truly believe you have the right point of view. 

            It’s true that sometimes people of integrity must fight for change, but I think people take that too far.  Choose battles well and carefully.  Holding grudges, hanging on to bitterness, and perpetuating feuds is an energy drain on the person dragging around the anger, and does not help the cause of peace.  Even the way we talk about things can change how we feel.  “It makes me so angry when I see people eating food that isn’t good for them,” can reinforce actually feeling angry.  Other people’s diets shouldn’t affect your emotion—that’s just silly. 

            The challenge is to notice what makes you angry, and change your reaction.  Is this worth the time and energy to be angry?  Should I choose this battle?  Often, the answer is no.  It doesn’t promote peace in the world to react negatively.

            Use the energy you save to learn to lead your community or peers, colleagues, or student body in truly promoting peace, decreasing violence, and making your world safe for everyone.

Bloody Religion

            My own religious tradition has its share of gruesome stories: a faithful servant who carried the dismembered arms of the sheep rustlers to the king; a bridge over a river made by piling up the bodies of the dead; a headless body lifting itself upright before collapsing, dead.  The veneration of the Sikh gurus and the bloody depictions of their martyrdom hanging in a dining room carries through this odd tradition.  I was fascinated by the stories, so I looked them up.

            Guru Arjun Dev was brought before the courts on charges of trying to lead Muslims away from their religion.  He was given the choice between conversion or martyrdom, and chose to die for his religion.  He was tortured to death.  Guru Teg Bahadur watched three of his disciples martyred before he was beheaded, sealing his own devotion to Sikhism with his life.  Pictures of the gruesome deaths of these and other Sikh martyrs are easy to find on the internet, along with graphic stories about the inhumanity of men in the throes of religious fanaticism.  But the Sikhs do not have a tradition of blood sacrifice to God.  Can these martyrs be considered sacrificial lambs, so to speak?  Did their deaths make a difference in their afterlife?

            Guru Nanak taught complete devotion to God and His teachings to reach Moksha.  Truly selfless attitudes were necessary to attain the goal of human life.  He also taught rejection of Hindu and Islam teachings, saying he had the only path to God, and he knew the only true God.  It would seem that choosing to die for Sikhism rather than convert to untrue religions would indeed be a righteous act.  Unwavering, undivided devotion to God certainly are part of Guru Nanak’s teaching, and martyrdom demonstrates unwavering devotion.

            Guru Gobind Singh actually called for men willing to die to demonstrate devotion to God.  He asked for volunteers who would be willing to die for the faith.  The first volunteer was taking into a tent behind Guru Gobind Singh, the onlookers heard the drawing of a sword, and the Guru emerged with a bloody sword.  Even in the face of this almost certain evidence that the volunteer was killed, four other men volunteered to die for their religion.  When these men walked out of the tent, alive and whole, Guru Gobind Singh made them leaders of the Khalsa, demonstrating clearly that rewards follow sacrifice of life.

            Guru Nanak taught the importance of living life the way God commands, learning selfless love for fellow humans.  Martyrdom is not seen as a sacrament in the Sikh tradition.  My original assumption that martyrdom was related to blood sacrifice is not true here.  Perhaps living life in spite of persecution, never wavering from the path Guru Nanak prescribed, equally demonstrates devotion to God.  The point is not that these people died for their religion, but that they were willing to take on whatever life brought to them without departing or doubting the teachings of the Gurus.

            Seen in this light, martyrdom can be considered one of many ways to demonstrate righteousness.  Dying may not earn any more grace from God than other ways of showing devotion.  It is not the sacrifice of the Gurus that shows followers how to live, but the lives and teachings of the Gurus. 

In Loving Memory

Brothers and Sisters, today we meet to celebrate the life and mourn the loss of Anakin Skywalker.

Anakin was born into extreme poverty to a single, slave mother.  With unknown paternity, there was little chance of rising above his circumstances.  But rise he did.  His great talent for pod racing captured the attention of the Jedi knights and earned his freedom from slavery.  He was old to begin training as a Jedi, but his obvious talent and determination let the council to make an exception. This same determination drove him through a remarkable life.

During the course of his training, he met a girl.  Not just any girl—a leader on her planet.  Padme Amidala was years older and miles ahead of him in social standing, but Ani let nothing deter him from his chosen path.  He grew to love her and, against the rules of the Jedi order and the traditions of her culture, they married in secret.  Believing it was the only way to save the life of his beloved wife, he turned to the Dark Side of the Force.

Anakin’s determination drove him to seek greater power, more learning, and better control over the Force he commanded so easily.  He sought teachers who could show him a side of the Force the Jedi Order would not show him.  After suffering life-threatening injuries in a volcano, Ani’s mentor, Darth Sidius, created a life support suit that would allow Ani to continue his studies.

Much of Ani’s long life was spent confined to this suit and in the company of Emperor Palpatine.  His actions were sometimes harsh, and many disapproved of his use of the Force, but none can deny his power was great.  His charismatic leadership helped cement the Empire and reduce the Jedi Order to a handful of knights. 

When Ani discovered his son, Luke, was a skilled pilot and Jedi Master, he began planning to take the young man under his wing, teaching his son to take a seat among the great leaders of the Empire.  A final encounter with Luke changed Ani’s heart and life.  Ani returned to the Light Side of the Force, using his great power and skill to overthrow the dark Empire and die as the Jedi he was destined to become.

Destroying the Emperor and returning to the Jedi Order confirmed the prophecy that Anakin Skywalker was, indeed, the Chosen One.  He died a Jedi, facing the light and prepared to join the post-mortal company of Obi-Wan, his old mentor in the Jedi Order, and Yoda, a Jedi Grand Master.

Brothers and Sisters, nothing is lost to Anakin.  He died well and valiantly, and was seen after death in the company of Jedi Knights.  His power, his legend, and his family will live on.  His children can hold their heads high, knowing they are progeny of this great man.  We are saddened at his loss just at the moment he returned to goodness, but we will allow his memory to live in our hearts and minds.  Our children will know his story, and their children, and their children after them.  Anakin will become legend, a fable of redemption and the power of good.

But today, he is simply our friend, and we will miss him.